My Weakness, Steve's Generosity, and God's Mysterious Ways

So I have to confess a weakness. Although I try to be a generous person, I do better when it comes to giving of my time, my listening ear, and other related efforts than I do in giving money. That sounds so bad to say, but I have to be honest and admit that it's a struggle. I'm that way with everyone -- even myself. (At least I'm not hypocritical!) I have to have people convince me to buy myself stuff that I need/want. And if you saw how many things I've bought for Kaelyn vs. how much has been given to her by others, you'd see a big difference as well. (I say it's trying to keep her humble!)

I'm just cheap. That's all there is to it. I feel bad when my desire to make sure I have enough in my savings account spills into a lack of generosity to others who are in need or just others who are wonderful that I should freely give to because they give me such love! My sinful worry should not hinder my spirit of compassion. I apologize to any loved ones reading this who have been shortchanged by me. It's not a natural gift I possess, but I am working on it.

To contrast, Steve is very generous. He is always buying meals for people and giving to people in our community who ask -- especially those who come to our church and seek a handout. Now since we've been at Echo Church, we've had quite a few people walk in and ask for money. Some come more than once. One comes all the time. Steve tries to use good judgment. He usually tells me that he'll give to anyone once. When they come back a second or third (or more) time, he tries to realize that he could just be feeding a larger problem by giving out money. He's just too nice, in other words! : )

So on Sunday, Steve said, "It cost me $26 to go to church tonight." What? Apparently two different men had asked him for money. One was a new visitor and the other was a frequent "friend." For once, I didn't roll my eyes at him. God gave him a heart of compassion, and I should learn from him. We have never gone without anything we need, so God obviously has provided for us enough that we should be generous to others.

"Guess what?" Steve says to me today. "I just got a check in the mail for $25."

For those of you keeping score out there, that's God and Steve and compassion for people: 1 vs. Kelly and worry: big fat zero. (And if we were keeping a running tally, I know God's numbers would be off the charts. He never ceases to surprise me with his love despite my sinfulness!)