The disappointments that come in my life can usually be traced back to one thing: my quest for perfectionism. Thus "disappointments" are often just the normalcies of life, but I can have a different view of them when I'm straining to squint at the world through lenses of "what could be."

Let's start off on a positive note: perfectionism can be good. It can cause people to strive to do their best and pursue greater heights than what they may have achieved if they blindly accepted mediocrity.

In fact, perfectionism is mentioned in the Bible: "Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect" (Matthew 5:48). [It follows a discussion on loving your neighbor, friend or enemy. So maybe the perfectionism is focusing on that exhortation.]

And when the rich young ruler thought he was perfect, Jesus said, "If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me" (Matthew 19:21). This is usually interpreted as what this particular guy needed to do in order to become a more humble follower -- give up the thing he treasured -- not that everyone who wants to be perfect should give away all possessions. But you never know . . . those possessions hold a lot of us back.

But perfectionism can cause a person like me some stumbling blocks. Such as when I put unnecessary pressure on myself and then have unnecessary guilt when I don't do things perfectly. Or when I don't even start a project because I know I can't do it perfectly, therefore I don't want to even try.

It can hurt those around me when I expect perfect from them too. I tell myself I won't project my own perfectionism onto Steve and Kaelyn, but inevitably I end up having high expectations every once in a while about what I expect from them -- and those come crashing down when the inner expectations in my head explode out my mouth in my frustration over something usually quite small or insignificant. Sorry to you both who have to live with me day in and day out!

And sometimes perfectionism hits me when the day's events don't go just as I was imagining in my mind. Reality should remind me once in a while that I shouldn't even set myself up for that type of "disappointment," but it happens nonetheless.

How does this spill over to my spiritual life? And then what do I do with such perfectionism? I'll expound upon that in part 2 . . .

Harmonies of voices and instruments filled the theatre, flowing through us and rising up to the ceiling. The piano, acoustic guitar, and violin became powerful communicators as strongly as the aching lyrics that completed each song.

Last night Steve and I saw The Swell Season in concert in Louisville. This is the Oscar-winning duo

I've talked about before

, Glen Hansard from Ireland and Marketa Irglova from the Czech Republic (so talented and only 20 years old!). Glen sings for the Irish band The Frames (who also joined them in concert), and both he and Marketa starred in the movie

Once

. (It's another flick I highly recommend if you're into great music. The quality soundtrack is terrific.)

Wow! Can I say it again? Wow! First off, we sat in the FRONT ROW! I'm talking the front, front row. In this theatre (yes, I like spelling it that way!), they'd covered over the orchestra pit and put down three additional rows of chairs from the normal front row right up to the stage. Our knees practically touched the stage as we sat there. We were almost dead center. Funny that we didn't have to pull any strings to get such seats. Steve just happened to go online a few minutes before the advertised time that the tickets were to go on sale. These were the seats he was given when he placed the order. We got some amazing pics. I'm posting one here, and Steve's posting the rest on his blog (beitcarr.com).

Here are some other concert highlights:

The coolest moment of the night may have been the very beginning. Glen came out alone with his guitar (one he played all night and has played so hard that it has holes in it) and sat down on his knees at the very front edge of the stage, away from all microphones. He then sang "Say It To Me Now," belting out the words, his voice echoing throughout the room.

Another highlight: Steve and I both got to interact a little with these artists. Glen was funny in between songs and was telling some odd stories and metaphors for their songs. As he talked, he'd look down to his right, often making direct eye-contact with Steve. Steve made good nonverbal reactions as a good listener should! :) I smiled once during the concert at Marketa (she sat at the piano most of the night) and then at the end as we stood to applaud, I waved and said good job to her and she said thanks in reply.

I enjoyed seeing Glen and Marketa interact (see photo). He was fun and silly at times and chatted like he was just hanging out with the audience in a living room; she was shy and introverted (making her performance in the movie even more remarkable). They'd whisper between songs, deciding what to play next. She'd look at him each song for timing -- even songs they've played probably hundreds of times together, such as their famous "Falling Slowly." We'd just heard on a news story about them that they'd fallen in love as they'd played together and made the movie together. That knowledge made it even more sweet to watch them.

Such skill was present. Their playing and singing and songwriting was impressive. You could see their passion for music in every move they made. My appreciation for such musical talent and passion has grown over the years, and it was amazing to watch last night.

I am now home. Hard to believe the surprise week I had. It's good to be in familiar surroundings. Although it was nice to have people bring things to me (like pain pills!) at the push of a button, the hospital food wasn't anything to write home about; plus I had to drag around a little contraption everywhere I walked, and don't get me started on the fashion statement I made with the lovely gowns and my pj pants each day! :)

But here's one thing I did come to realize: recently, I'd been thinking about some things. I'd kind of made a mental list.

• I wanted to write some deeper things on my blog, not just updates on goings and comings of my week or Kaelyn's latest fad.

• I wanted to spend quality time with Carol, who I hadn't seen in a while.

• I wanted to not be so stressed.

• I wanted a little rest, a little "me" time.

• I wanted to draw closer to God and spend more time in prayer.

• I wanted to see my parents and parents-in-law sometime this month before Christmas.

• I wanted extra sleep.

Now I didn't exactly pray, "Dear God, please cause my lung to spontaneously deflate and put me in the hospital for five days." But I guess that did do the trick and complete the checklist on all of the above.

Who knew? I'll begin my next wish list with caution . . .