Gnat herds in the park
I think one flew up my nose
Perils of jogging
I think one flew up my nose
Perils of jogging
My stomach was in knots. I was a little short of breath. And my heart raced inside me.
It was the first day of kindergarten.
No, this isn't some distant memory I recall from my own childhood. This actually happened Tuesday. And no, technically it wasn't MY first day of kindergarten. It was my first day as a mom of a kindergartner. And I survived!
I used to shake my head in wonder at parents who expressed such stress or apprehension over their child going to school. What is the big deal? I wondered. I figured I would be skipping all the way, happy to drop off my child and have more "me" time.
But something changed.
Somewhere along the way, I went from a woman who wasn't quite sure I wanted kids (I can't control their every move? they'll have free will and may rebel against me? I'll get a pet, thank you.) to a person who can't wait to see a little girl's smile and feel her hug every morning. I've become a mom who, at random and unexplained times, can cry at the drop of a hat or a tug-at-the-heartstrings sappy commercial, whichever comes first.
What I thought I'd be and what I thought I'd want has changed. (Of course, those things have probably been readjusting themselves from the moment I met my dear and entertaining husband, so I shouldn't expect otherwise.) All in all, I'm OK with that.
So this summer, I tended to put off dreary things like laundry and cleaning, and even nice things like blogging and emails, so that I could squeeze out every drop of time this summer had to offer. Because I knew when August 16 began, our world would change.
We had an AMAZING summer. Not one huge thing but a ton of small moments, etched together to form a picture of joy. I was intentional, and that made all the difference. I hope I learn something and continue to be intentional with each of my family and friend relationships. And I have Steve to thank for working so hard to allow me home time with Kaelyn.
Yes, having some more time to do some things will be a positive of the whole thing. And eventually it will all become routine—once I establish a routine and it's not all so new. As I see how Kaelyn is growing from her time with new friends and great teachers, learning things beyond my skill set (ex: German), I will feel even better about this whole thing. (She's already had great stories to tell!)
For now, I'll miss my little helper as I go about my day. I'll continue to figure out what else I want to be when I grow up and what needs I can fill for our church and others in this new weekly schedule.
And I'll start finding out all the joys that come in seeing a little girl become a little bigger and a little more independent kindergarten girl.
It was the first day of kindergarten.
No, this isn't some distant memory I recall from my own childhood. This actually happened Tuesday. And no, technically it wasn't MY first day of kindergarten. It was my first day as a mom of a kindergartner. And I survived!
I used to shake my head in wonder at parents who expressed such stress or apprehension over their child going to school. What is the big deal? I wondered. I figured I would be skipping all the way, happy to drop off my child and have more "me" time.
But something changed.
Somewhere along the way, I went from a woman who wasn't quite sure I wanted kids (I can't control their every move? they'll have free will and may rebel against me? I'll get a pet, thank you.) to a person who can't wait to see a little girl's smile and feel her hug every morning. I've become a mom who, at random and unexplained times, can cry at the drop of a hat or a tug-at-the-heartstrings sappy commercial, whichever comes first.
What I thought I'd be and what I thought I'd want has changed. (Of course, those things have probably been readjusting themselves from the moment I met my dear and entertaining husband, so I shouldn't expect otherwise.) All in all, I'm OK with that.
So this summer, I tended to put off dreary things like laundry and cleaning, and even nice things like blogging and emails, so that I could squeeze out every drop of time this summer had to offer. Because I knew when August 16 began, our world would change.
We had an AMAZING summer. Not one huge thing but a ton of small moments, etched together to form a picture of joy. I was intentional, and that made all the difference. I hope I learn something and continue to be intentional with each of my family and friend relationships. And I have Steve to thank for working so hard to allow me home time with Kaelyn.
Yes, having some more time to do some things will be a positive of the whole thing. And eventually it will all become routine—once I establish a routine and it's not all so new. As I see how Kaelyn is growing from her time with new friends and great teachers, learning things beyond my skill set (ex: German), I will feel even better about this whole thing. (She's already had great stories to tell!)
For now, I'll miss my little helper as I go about my day. I'll continue to figure out what else I want to be when I grow up and what needs I can fill for our church and others in this new weekly schedule.
And I'll start finding out all the joys that come in seeing a little girl become a little bigger and a little more independent kindergarten girl.
I am a rule-follower. When I consider infringing upon the smallest regulation, it gives me heart palpitations. If someone projects authority, I will strive to obey it.
I don't take risks. But I have a friend who does. And when I'm with that friend, I've been encouraged to live a little more, go beyond my bounds. In a good way! No harm has come by me to loosen up on matters that aren't rigid. I've been known to dip a toe into waters I'd normally shy away from.
But my friend's willingness to take risks causes people to give a label. Which is sad because I know my friend's heart. Passion for God and people and truth come before all. So if some rule is slamming God or hurting people or deceiving the truth, my friend will snap it in half. In a nice way. :)
I just get sad when my friend is perceived poorly, assumed to be a certain way because of sticking up for such beliefs. I'll admit that I have had (and may occasionally still have) a tendency to look down upon people who aren't as goody-two-shoes as me. Why can't they just fall in line? I wonder. But I'm glad I met my friend. Now my perspective is different. And I thank God for humbling me, reminding me that He made everyone with different strengths. I've got my own foibles. And if it weren't for rule-benders or breakers, who would fight for freedoms or truths? Jesus was considered a wee bit of a rebel himself!
So to my friend I say: I know your heart. If others don't see it yet, that's their problem. I've got your back.
I don't take risks. But I have a friend who does. And when I'm with that friend, I've been encouraged to live a little more, go beyond my bounds. In a good way! No harm has come by me to loosen up on matters that aren't rigid. I've been known to dip a toe into waters I'd normally shy away from.
But my friend's willingness to take risks causes people to give a label. Which is sad because I know my friend's heart. Passion for God and people and truth come before all. So if some rule is slamming God or hurting people or deceiving the truth, my friend will snap it in half. In a nice way. :)
I just get sad when my friend is perceived poorly, assumed to be a certain way because of sticking up for such beliefs. I'll admit that I have had (and may occasionally still have) a tendency to look down upon people who aren't as goody-two-shoes as me. Why can't they just fall in line? I wonder. But I'm glad I met my friend. Now my perspective is different. And I thank God for humbling me, reminding me that He made everyone with different strengths. I've got my own foibles. And if it weren't for rule-benders or breakers, who would fight for freedoms or truths? Jesus was considered a wee bit of a rebel himself!
So to my friend I say: I know your heart. If others don't see it yet, that's their problem. I've got your back.